Common Foster Child Behaviors
What the New Foster Parent Can Expect and How to Help
Questions by New Foster Parents
New foster parents often wonder what it will be like when their first foster child comes to live with them. The first few days and weeks can be an anxious time while learning the ropes of parenting a traumatized child.
By the time the child has come to you, he or she have suffered many losses. Foster children all have suffered the loss of a home, their family and friends, their school … basically the world as they knew it. As one might expect, these children are dealing with a lot of emotions and grief.
So, what behaviors can you expect from a foster child and how should you handle them? Keep in mind that every child and every circumstance is different. It is nearly impossible to predict how each child will respond to their new environment, or to you. However, there are some common behaviors found with many foster children.
Common Foster Child Behaviors
According to the Intercommunity Child Guidance Center, common behaviors include:
- Aggression
- Withdrawal
- Depression
- Regression to younger behaviors such as baby talk or bedwetting
- Fantasies about parents (unrealistic idealization)
- Confusion over new rules and roles
- Inappropriate affection towards strangers (too affectionate or too distant/ fearful)
- School Difficulties
How to Help
Remember that these children have already been through a lot before they ever reach your home. The best thing you can do for them is to give them ample time to adjust to their new surroundings and their new lifestyle.
There are many ways you can help to ease the transition for a new foster child:
- Be patient. Give them adequate time to adjust. This may take weeks, months or years.
- Give them structure and stability.
- Advocate for them with the school, their social workers, and the court system.
- Provide them with space of their own. Their own drawers or dresser, a place to store their things that is just for them, anything you can do to make them feel a sense of belonging.
- Don’t give up! These children need somebody who will not quit.
It is tough being a foster parent, and some children are more challenging than others. You will have many days where you just want to throw in the towel, but that is when you need to dig in your heels and stick it out. You will be a better person for it and you will make a difference in a child’s life, though you may never see it.
Related Articles:
What Seasoned Foster Parents Know
Disrupting a Foster Care Placement
Foster Children Have Suffered Enormous Loss
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