Welcoming a New Foster Child
Tips to Help Foster Parents Prepare Their Home & Their Expectations
The arrival of a foster child is often met with eagerness and anxiety. A little time spent in preparation can ease the stress of the first few days and weeks.
One aspect of foster parenting that can be intimidating, especially to new foster parents, is meeting their foster child. Since every child is different and every situation is unique, it is hard to predict what will happen or how the child will behave.
The good news is that with a little planning and forethought, the stress and anxiety of welcoming your new foster child in your home can be greatly reduced.
Before Move-In Day
Take the time to make sure everything is ready for his or her arrival. Make up the bed, tidy the bedroom, be sure a few dresser drawers are empty and ready for him to move-in.
Arrange your schedule so that household activity and noise is kept to a minimum. He will feel much more at ease walking into a home that is peaceful and welcoming.
Meeting Your Foster Child
Introduce yourself. Let the child know who you are and what role you will be playing in his or her life. Don’t take it for granted that he knows and understands that you are his foster parent, or that you will be taking care of him. Parental terms to a foster child (such as mother and father) may not mean the same to him as they do to you. To a foster child, “mom” may be the person who left him home alone all day, or “dad”may mean the man who hurts his mommy.
Do not press the child to talk or react to you. This child is going through a traumatic ordeal and is probably in shock. Give the child room to adjust to the new surroundings and settle in.
Listen to the child’s body language, and don’t invade his space. If he acts hungry, offer him something to eat, don’t wait until he asks for it. If your new foster child is uncomfortable being hugged, wait until he gets to know you. You may think you are showing affection, but a child who has been maltreated may feel violated.
Welcome to Our Home
Give him a tour of the home. Show him where he will sleep, and keep his clothes and belongings. Make sure he knows that he has his own space. Also, show him where you sleep and let him know that he may come to get you if he needs you in the middle of the night.
Consider placing a nightlight in or close to his room.
Show him where the rules of your home are located, and read through them together.
The First Few Days and Weeks
Always answer his questions as honestly as possible. If you don’t know the answer, be honest and say so, then assure him you will find out and get back with him.
Spend time getting to know him. Take him shopping with you, play a game together, go for a walk. Use this time to listen to his concerns, and let him tell you all about his family. Don’t judge his biological parents, let the proper authorities do that. Instead earn his trust by being a neutral party.
Finally, be patient. It is difficult for anyone to adjust to a new environment, new rules, new people, new routines, and so forth. Don’t expect your new foster child to blend in with your family instantly. Do yourself and your new foster child a favor by taking things slow and easy during the first few days he is with you.
Welcoming your new foster child into your home can be one of the most exciting and challenging times of your foster parenting career. However, by just following these few simple guidelines, the transition can be made easier, with a lot less stress on you both.
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